What Is Self Love in a Relationship and why Is It Important?

Clay Andrews answers the question of what is self-love in a relationship, and why is it important? If you want to learn more about self-love and self-esteem, check out our book over at


Follow me:


iTunes Podcast:





What is self-love and why is it important in relationships or dating? Simply put, it controls what you’re willing to put up with.

Of course, there are going to be weird people out there, no matter who you are. There are going to be creeps, players, pickup artists, users, emotionally unavailable people, and everything in between.

But why is it that some people end up in relationships with great people, while others just seem to end up attracting or being attracted to people that just aren’t good for them in one way or another?

The answer is self-love.

Self-love in relationships means that you know what your value is and you’re not willing to settle for less.

This isn’t about beating your chest and posturing about how great you are. It is simply about knowing what you want and loving yourself enough to not settle for less.

A person who loves themselves still gets approached by people with heavy issues, just the way that maybe you do if you don’t have a healthy level of self-love.

The difference though is that they see that person who may have some sort of personality disorder, addiction, or just a bad attitude, and they say to themselves, “Nope, that’s not what I’m looking for in a relationship.”

On the other side of the coin, you may have low levels of self-love, but you happen to encounter someone who is a high-quality person, you may not be interested in that person because it “doesn’t feel right” which is really just a code for “It doesn’t feel familiar.”

Either that or you may do something unintentionally to sabotage any budding romance, because on some level you do not feel comfortable with someone who loves you more than you love yourself.